Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
you would pick up someone in the library
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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