HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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