Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
