I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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