No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
