Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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