i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
