my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
