I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Don't make out with my wife yet
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
