Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
