3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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