i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I miss vodka workout Fridays
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
