oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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