I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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