There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
