this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
