I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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