he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
