I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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