I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
