Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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