Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
