Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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