dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
