Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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