nut hugger
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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