Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
