Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
