When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I could fuck to npr.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
