There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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