he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
