I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
