I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
