Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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