you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
