DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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