doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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