Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
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