The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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