I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
