dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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