i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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