remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
