pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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