I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
