It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
