He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
