Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
