Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
