Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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