I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
