I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
