You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Randomize
