Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
